Art Linkletter used to insist that "kids say the darndest things" but when it comes to the fields of sports and sports betting, it looks like the children have little on athletes, journalists, politicians, administrators and just plain folks.
"It’s a no-brainer."
--Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, on her chances of winning a wager with South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford on whether the Alaska Aces would beat the South Carolina Stingrays to win the ECHL’s Kelly Cup finals between the two hockey teams. Palin risked some Alaska king salmon while Sanford put up shrimp, grits and she-crab soup from Tristan Restaurant in Charleston. South Carolina won the best-of-seven series, four games to three.
"All those World Series wagers put down by snow-birding Cubs fans every year in Vegas? They do make nifty keepsakes."
--Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times
"One of the jokes is when people buy a Cubs ticket, we tell them, ‘No one’s ever cashed one…’"
--David Pemberton, race and sports book director, The Rio
A few more funnies from Perry:
"So, Stanford’s athletic department is projecting a huge budget deficit and the possible elimination of some sports teams? Three-word suggestion for the Alumni Association: ‘Dear Tiger Woods…’"
"The next big-name athlete with plans to pen a biography? Record-breaking sprinter Usain Bolt. Or as Bolt is better known in reading circles, the Evelyn Wood of running."
"No wonder Rangers shortstop Omar Vizquel –winner of 11 Gold Gloves—can handle all those tricky hops: He owns three pet kangaroos."
"As the procedure is better known in tennis circles, ‘fixed doubles.’"
--Perry commenting on the decision of Romania’s Simona Halep to undergo breast-reduction surgery (see below)
"The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. It's the weight that troubles me--my ability to react quickly."
--Simona Halep, who, clearly, never has seen Serena Williams
Here is a quartet of goodies from Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle:
"Most dramatic sports event of the past week was the National Spelling Bee Championship on ESPN. One kid, I swear, was flopping. Dude, you can’t fake a heart attack at age 13."
"Next April, don’t miss ESPN’s telecast of the National Spelling Bee combine."
"Screech, the mascot of the Washington Nationals, was shooting foil-wrapped hot dogs from a sausage gun when the dogs exploded and showered fans with wiener shrapnel. It made me nostalgic for the old face-to-face post-game confrontations with Tommy Lasorda."
"RIP Dante "Gluefingers" Lavelli, who died last week at 85. Lavelli was a great receiver for the Cleveland Browns but of course he is best remembered for his ineptitude in kindergarten art class."
"This is a way I can have my crisis without getting in a race car or going with a 19-year-old."
--Ex-Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin, on why he joined this season’s lineup of Dancing With The Stars
"I’m a small-college coach. That means that when you’re on the road in hotels, you take the soap."
--Don Meyer of Division II Northern State University in Aberdeen, South Dakota, who has won more games (903) than any men’s basketball coach in NCAA history
"People come up to me all the time and say, ‘Congratulations,’ and I don’t know if they mean it for the Gold Medal or the baby."
--Olympic volleyball champion Kerri Walsh on her pregnancy
"Put it this way, Brett Favre scored a 22 and Alex Smith a 40."
--Mike Penner of the Los Angeles Times, questioning the value of NFL draft prospects taking the Wonderlic intelligence test
"The University of Tennessee self-reported a minor recruiting violation after an assistant coach posted a comment about a recruit on first-year coach Lane Kiffin’s Facebook and Twitter accounts. The same thing happened to Joe Paterno in his first season, except it involved his Pony Express account."
--Reggie Hayes, The News-Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Ind.)
"If this happened two years ago, O.J. Simpson could have been arrested at a much nicer hotel."
--Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the poor economy driving Las Vegas room rates to as low at $20 per night
"He reached his pitch count."
--Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W. Va., offering a suggestion for the tombstone of the late TV salesperson Billy Mays
"Actually the only time I miss it is during the football season, not calling my bookie every Saturday and Sunday. But as far as the casino goes, I haven't missed it. And I'm going to start gambling again whenever I get ready, to be honest with you. I like to gamble. When I'm ready to go back to gambling, I will."
--Charles Barkley, admitting that he enjoys sports betting
This article was written by Luken Karel for http://www.thegreek.com. The Greek Sportsbook & Casino is host to one of the top online sportsbooks offering sports betting on NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL and all other major sports. The Greek is a must have sports betting and entertainment portal with one of the largest wagering menus available online. Article reproductions must include a link pointing to http://www.thegreek.com
